Are you hiding behind perfectionism too?

It’s time to fess up! I’m a recovering perfectionist. Let me explain!

I often say this flippantly, but it’s true! I worked hard at being a perfectionist for a very long time.

It was my way of dealing with my fear of not being good enough for the work I was doing.

My fear of being found out as a fraud. Someone who didn’t really know what she was talking about.

It was – in short – my way of dealing with a case of impostor syndrome.

This got a lot – and I mean a lot! – better after my burnout now many years ago.

Going out into the ‘market place’ afterwards, looking for a new job, talking to possible employers was a huge confidence boost.

In talking to them I came to realise I wasn’t some fraud just pretending to know things – I actually knew what I was talking about.

The worry about being found out slowly dwindled into nothingness. I had come to realise there was nothing to be found out in the first place.

The perfectionism though hasn’t been so easy to get rid off.

Truth be told, if I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing perfectionism has a tendency to take over.

You may ask, “Well, when does that happen then?”

It happens when I am about to do something that will cause me to be seen. When what I’m about to do will make me be visible and – oh horror! – even truly be seen for who I am!

But…..

Isn’t that what all of us really want? To be seen and recognised for who we really are? I know I do.

It won’t happen if I, we, keep using perfectionism as a shield to protect us from shame, blame, judgement or being hurt in some other way. I’ve tried and I’m can tell you it doesn’t work.

Coming back from my self-imposed downtime (you can read more about that by going HERE) I’ve decided to be very conscious about when I’m using my perfectionism shield.

It’s bound to happen and I don’t want it to. By being vigilant I’ll be striving to actively prevent the shield from going up at all.

Time to definitively come off the sidelines and fully commit to being on the playing field where I can, where I will be seen.

It feels uncomfortable and rather scary, but I want to be seen and heard. I have a story to share which can help others. Only when I’m out on the playing field will that happen!

So today I did a Facebook live. Not from the comfortable privacy of my home. Nor from the privacy of a lonely mountain meadow. But rather in the ‘bustling’ centre of the town I live in.

Of course, once I’d done it I immediately thought about deleting it, but it’s still there for all the world to see.

Now, if you recognise yourself in any part of this story, my question to you is this:

“Are you ready to come of the sidelines yet? Are you ready to stop hiding behind your perfectionism shield?”

You deserve to be seen for who you truly are! We all do!

Which is why I will be seeing you on the playing field!!

As always…..

Go dare greatly!