When Afraid To Do Something New, Ask This Powerful Question

Every time I think about doing something new, something that will stretch myself beyond the things I’m comfortable doing, I get this really uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. You may be familiar with it too. It is called F-E-A-R!

That feeling has often held me back in the past. I listened to that tiny voice (let’s call it ‘Tiny’ for that is what it is) at the back of my mind that said things like ‘You’re not good enough!’, ‘Who do you think you are?’, ‘It’s not worth the risk!’ and perhaps worst of all ‘Don’t do it, you might fail!’

Of course there are times in my life when it is a really good idea to listen to Tiny and heed its council. I may be hiking and come upon a very steep snow field that needs crossing only to discover I didn’t bring the appropriate gear with me. When I find myself in such situations contemplating something actually dangerous and I hear Tiny piping up, I usually listen.

It’s all those other times when Tiny is letting its presence be known, when I’ve found I need to be vigilant. Is it calling out because I’m facing a situation that is actually dangerous to my physical or emotional health? Or is it just telling me a story I can choose to listen to or not?

Just telling Tiny to be quiet didn’t help. It was far too persistent to keep quiet for long. For the same reason simply ignoring it never really helped me either. It didn’t get rid of that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach until I had actually done what I thought I was afraid of.

Over the years though, I have been getting better at listening to another voice in my head. It started out even tinier than Tiny, but has been growing steadily in size and volume. Especially since I’ve been giving it so much more attention (what we give our attention grows). I call it Dare (for that is what it helps me do).

Dare is not so much the voice of reason as it is the voice showing me different perspectives on the same situation. When Tiny is telling me something is dangerous, it is Dare that has me look at it from different angles and discover that there usually is no real risk involved. Or if there is risk, I can take measures to prevent something terrible from happening. Usually though, I discover that Tiny has just been telling me a story and I can decide to believe it or not.

It is Dare who will ask me the question ‘How would you behave if you were the best in the world at ________?’ It’s asked of every student in Marie Forleo’s B-School and it is incredibly powerful. And it is easy to answer too.

So when I committed to organising at least one weekend retreat this summer for people who find themselves feeling out of alignment in a place, their career or their life and who want to find out how they can re-align themselves with their core values, I was glad to have Dare with me. Because as soon as I had made the commitment Tiny not just piped up, but actually screamed out all its usual objections. It was so loud at first I had a hard time hearing anything else.

And then Dare worked its magic! Helping me see things from a different perspective and bringing back to the forefront of my mind there are many people I can help by sharing my stories, my experiences and my knowledge.

How would I behave if I were the best in the world at coaching and mountain seeking? That’s easy! I would organise a great workshop fully confident people who are ready and willing to learn from me will come and join me in that adventure.

How about you? How would you behave if you were the best at what you want to do? How can you take control back from your own Tiny?

Share your thoughts below and let me know. Be as specific as you can when you share your thoughts. Other people, Mountain Seekers like you, will be inspired by your ideas and actions.

Please, share only your original thoughts, actions and ideas directly in the comments. Don’t link to other sites, videos, etc. – they come across as spammy and will be removed.

Thank you for reading and adding your voice to the conversation.

As always…

Go dare greatly!