How to stop people from demanding too much of you!

Photo by Reymark Franke on Unsplash

So you feel stuck in a career, working 50, 60 hours a week! And when you’re not working you are fulfilling obligations to family and friends! Not to mention the social obligations that come with your job; dinner with a client, networking at some event, … When is there time for you?!

If only everybody wouldn’t demand so much of you!

Come to think of it …

If only your parents hadn’t put so many expectations on you!
If only they didn’t pressure you to pick that sensible major!
If only your teachers and professors hadn’t put so much pressure on you!
If only your bosses weren’t so demanding!
If only your colleagues would start pulling their weight!
If only your partner didn’t expect you to spend so much time with family!
If only your friends didn’t want you to join them every week for dinner!
If only they all understood you need time for you!
By yourself!
Doing something for you!


(You can watch a facebook live video I did on this subject here)

See what’s happening here?

Do you see how much responsibility you’re placing on ‘the other’?
Do you see how little responsibility you are taking?

Do you realize how much power you are giving those ‘others’?
Do you realize how little power you keep for yourself?

I know that position all too well!

I used to do it too; give everyone else power and convince myself there was nothing I could do about it!


I found the common denominator!

That’s right!

I figured out what all these “If only’s” had in common!


I was there every single time!

Letting other people decide for me instead of making my own decisions!

When I realised that, everything changed!

Most of the things that happened to me, expectations that were placed upon me, were a result of my own choices.

I picked that sensible major!
I stayed in that sensible career for longer than I should have!
I ate all that food that made me overweight!
I didn’t delegate things to people I worked with but rather did everything myself!
I didn’t push back when my bosses were putting irrational demands on me!
I didn’t make space and time for me!

It was me making these decisions all along. I was the one responsible for what was happening to me.

That meant I could come to different decisions and as we all know: different choices make for different results!

Of course I realise we all have obligations and sometimes we just have to do things that we’d rather not. However! It has been my experience that when we start making conscious choices about the things we take on, about when we say “yes” and when we say “no”, outcomes drastically change. And therefore our lives do to!!

So if you want things in your life to change …

STOP with all the “If only”-ing!!



If you recognize yourself in any this and would like to talk (confidential, no obligations) about it, just grab a spot on my calendar

Share your thoughts below and let me know what you think. Be as specific as you can when you share your thoughts. Other people, Trailblazers like you, will be inspired by your ideas and actions.

Thank you for reading and adding your voice to the conversation.

As always…

Go dare greatly!